The Business, June 7th 2012, "Oh The Places We'll Go!" Edition

Congratulations, Business fans! Today is your day. You're off to Great Places! You're off and away!

The Business regulars want to congratulate our guest Sam Davidoff on his graduation. No longer will he have to eat his meat to get his pudding! This young man is not just a stellar student, he has been racking up the extra credit in his extracurriculars and is taking over top clubs before he can even open up a bar tab. He also co-produces his own tour, The Young Guns of Comedy. He is not aware of my plan to eat his heart and steal his youthful powers.

He'll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. He’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as he goes. Like the rest of our guests!

Utah born, Seattle based comedian Emmett Montgomery found the comedy stage in late 2004 and has been failing beautifully ever since. Emmett has been involved in a lot of things including critically acclaimed comedy collectives, post apocalyptic variety shows, underground wrestling leagues and family friendly comedy nights in pizza restaurants. Mr. Montgomery has been featured at the Bumbershoot, Bridgetown Comedy and Sasquatch festivals. Emmett tells jokes from his heart. His heart is usually full of hope but sometimes it is full of spiders.

We also welcome Jeff Kreisler, Winner of the Bill Hicks Spirit Award for Thought Provoking Comedy, radio host on PRN, regular on Showbiz Tonight & MSNBC, writer for Comedy Central, IFC, TheFinalEdition.com & TheStreet.com, cast member of Shoot The Messenger, author of the bestselling "Get Rich Cheating," exec editor of "My Wall Street Journal," and star of hit international festival shows, Jeff Kreisler explores politics, business, culture, and life with passion, absurdity, and hope. Jeff now lives in New York City where he enjoys his newborn son, naps, commas and run on sentences.

Your Business regulars will also be in the house, with the exception of our favorite curly fry Alex Koll, who will be back in our arms again soon.

GANG, WE'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!

So... be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea or Blue Ivy, you're off to Great Places! Today is your day! Your burrito is waiting. So...get on your way...and bring $5!

The Business May 23rd 2012, "The MVPs who are VIPs that came from LA to SF" Edition

We love LA. Century Boulevard? We love it. Victory Boulevard? We love it. Santa Monica Boulevard? We love it. Sixth Street? We love it. That street where a hooker beat me up with her dick after I called her out for selling me Baking Soda instead of cocaine WHO DOES S/HE THINK I AM , A RUBE?!?! We love it.

That’s why for this edition of The Business, we got some of the finest comics currently residing in the City of Angels to drop by:

Andy Haynes was born in the shadows of Mt. Rainier in the wilds of the Pacific Northwest, raised on salmon and caffeine. He now lives in Los Angeles, where he works as comedian, and writer. Part camp counselor, part debate team captain, he’s bringing his immature take on serious issue to audiences around the English speaking world. With recent performances on the Late Night with Jimmy Fallon show, and at the New Faces showcase at the Montreal Just for Laughs Festival, Andy is becoming a must see performer.

Nick Turner is a humble comedian. He did TV once. He recently moved from NY to LA and he’s LAving it.

Karl Hess is a person & stand-up comedian & actor who lives in Los Angeles. He enjoys tacos and leisure. He has performed at the Montreal Just For Laughs Festival, San Francisco Sketchfest, The Bridgetown Comedy Festival in Portland the past three years, the Laughing Skull Comedy Festival in Atlanta at which he was a finalist, HellYes Fest in Austin, and numerous others whose inclusion might render this biographical blurb unwieldy and verbose. His stand-up has been featured on G4 TV, and he plays reguarly at the top shows in LA, as well as colleges and clubs across the nation.

Scott Boxenbaum is a stand-up comic and writer living in Los Angeles. Scott has performed at clubs and colleges around the country such as Stand Up! NY, Comix NY, Yuk Yuk’s Vancouver, the Comedy Underground in Seattle, and Morty’s Comedy Joint in Indianapolis.

All this for just $5!! That’s SO CHEAP that the SF Weekly says we're the BEST at being cheap. http://www.sfweekly.com/bestof/2012/award/best-cheap-night-of-comedy-3067057/

BYOBurrito.

Your Business regulars will be there as well, except Alex, who we sent off to personally shake Randy Newman’s hand (cause you have a friend in any one who loves LA and hates short people).

The Business May 16th 2012, "The Tallents of the Fantastic Dr. Foxmeat" Edition (with extra Vannini!)

The Business gets feral this week. Our corporate office will be inundated with wild animals, as Sam Tallent, Cameron Vannini and Dr. Foxmeat get all up in our habitat.

Since all bios for Dr. Foxmeat have been either scratched into bark or howled at the moon, there is no written record from which to draw data. What we can conclude is that he is from Arcata, California on some kind of southward trek (which is weird, cause harvest isn’t for months).

Cameron Vannini is a dapper, young SF comic and philanthropist. Also known as the San Francisco Treat, Cameron performs regularly at the SF Punchline and is a AAA card member (even though he doesn't have a license). He has been spotted at Cobb's Comedy club, the San Jose Improv, and the Sacramento Punchline. Ingredients include the 2010 SF International Comedy competition and semi finalist in 2010 SJ Improv comedy competition.
Sam Tallent's from Denver. Alex Koll and him have done some very bad things together. Sam has been described as 'the black flag of comedy' and a zine in Denmark said 'Sam is the surreal voice of an earnestly silly generation'. Reggie Watts, TJ Miller, Joe Rogan, Kyle Kinane, Sean Patton and other quality gigglesmiths have worked with Sam and not complained to management. His home club is the Denver Comedy Works and he curates Too Much Funstival! at the end of August in Denver. His interests include Genki savory crepes, short haired women and writing in the third person.”

We will miss Chris Garcia and Bucky this week, but never fear, they will return from their walkabouts with new stories of misadventure and poop.

Bring your burritos and $5 to the Dark Room and get your wild thing on (RIP, Maurice). Come on, when’s the last time you had Foxmeat?!?

Time and money: How an MBA changes your perspective

Preface:

This article is intended for military personnel who are:

• Thinking about applying to business school
•  Just got in to business school

and is intended to help understand some of the drastic but subtle changes you are about to experience.

Introduction

A top tier MBA drastically changes one's perspective on life in many ways, especially if that person comes from a military background and is new to the business world. Every military person knows that a post-MBA career means that you will wear different clothes to work, live in a different place, have a different job, get paid more, and associate with very different kinds of people. Those are the obvious things, but an MBA trajectory changes more than just the basic building blocks of one's life, it also completely changes one's perspective and how one interacts with society. Before thinking that I am getting too philosophical, let me get specific...

When a typical pre-MBA military applicant visits his new school for the first or second time, he will typically stay in the most economical hotel he can find. He will book the cheapest flight he can, and not think twice about a layover. He will walk a mile or two to get to campus if necessary, vice taking a taxi. He will also balk at the student loans he will accumulate, and most likely not take any extravagant or expensive trips prior to matriculation. These are all the responsible things to do... for somebody coming from the military.

One makes more money after business school; that's not extremely insightful you may say. However, the lifestyle implications have to be thought of again. At, or immediately following business school, you begin to take the shortest flight (vice least expensive), you stay at the hotels closest to your destination (vice most economical), choose a taxi for the last mile, and take costly vacations when presented with a week of free time. This is not because you have become a rich snob, but because the value of your time has drastically changed, and you are willing to spend more in exchange for precious minutes of quality time. Before going further, let's decompose this a bit further and discuss two factors:


Factor 1: What is your own time worth?

Ask yourself... what is your time worth? Most military pre-MBAs have no idea, since the concept of time value is irrelevant to their careers. You get paid the same no matter how you perform, what value you create for your unit, and there is no connection between your day to day activities with your paycheck. Furthermore, your raises are known in advance, and you can easily look up in a table what you will make in 5, 10, or 15 years. The concept of "value of time" is completely moot - you simply make what Uncle Sam dictates you make. So what is your time worth pre-MBA?

Let's do a quick thought experiment to get you started. Let's pretend you just finished your day at work, and you are heading home. I tell you though that I've left you an envelope with cash one hour in the opposite direction of your house, but it's yours if you want it. All you have to do is drive to it and pick it up, and you can continue to go home afterwards. It's therefore an hour out of your way, both ways, so it will add two hours to your commute home. You can stop along the way for dinner, or do anything else you like. The question is, what is the minimum amount of money that must be in that envelop for you to make make the detour to pick it up? For example, if there was 50 cents in there, I'm guessing you wouldn't bother. If there was $50,000, everyone would say yes. Your personal number is somewhere in between... and what is it? Divide that number by two (since it's two hours), and that is how much an hour of your free time is worth TODAY. Business school completely warps that number, which is half the equation.

Factor 2: How much does society value your time?

Another variable to take into account in this equation is how much society values your time? Some may take this harshly, but as a proxy, society values your time by how much your employer pays you. You may not like that society values LeBron James time 10000x more than the person who runs a small business helping those in need, but the reality is that it does. That's why people pay more for an NBA ticket, or a LeBron jersey than they do in support of their local businesses. Similarly, if society valued military professional's time more, then it would petition congress to pay the military more. In general, people are paid similarly to how society values them. It doesn't mean it's right, ethical, or moral, but it's reality. Hedge fund managers get paid more because investors pay them so, as opposed to putting their money elsewhere.

An MBA drastically changes both the above factors in your life, so let's try to see this visually:

Note: $/hr are obviously only approximate and will vary for everyone. The graphs are only meant to convey general directional trends.

Prior to business school, you generally got paid more than you would have paid to gain an extra hour of quality free time. In other words, when you're 18 years old, you can probably make at least minimum wage (~$8/hour), but few 18 years old would spend over $8/hour to gain an extra hour a day. Similarly, an O-1 may make the equivalent of $20/hr, but few O-1s will pay over $20 out of pocket in order to gain an extra hour of free time every evening. That is why they will walk a mile instead of taking a cab... they will trade 15 minutes of their time in order to save $5 (a rate of $20/hr).

After a top business school, somebody may expect to make $150-$200k/year, but also work 60-80 hours a week. Let's say that means society places around $60/hr on the value of your time. That's likely more than twice your previous hourly wage before you got to business school, plus you know that your increase in income will dwarf your military pay raise schedule, so you also expect to make a lot more in the future.

Just as importantly, you are also working many more hours, so you have much less free time, and that also drives up your demand for quality free time. You all of a sudden have a lot more money (making perhaps $15,000 a month pre-tax), but a lot less time to relax and enjoy yourself. Supply and demand works everywhere, and the consequences here should now be apparent.

Prior to business school, you generally valued money more than time. After business school, you will generally value quality free time over money:

This will help explain some of the seemingly crazy behavior of your new business school classmates. It's why they will fly to Europe or South America for a 3 day weekend... because they are willing to trade in all that extra future income to have 24 hours of fun somewhere. It's why, for example, very few HBS students stay in Boston on the weekend... they are jet setting all around the country and the world... business school is finally an opportunity to enjoy their free time, because they know they won't have it later.

Other implications?

• Why rent a car from the airport for $30 total when you can take 4x $40 cab rides and not wait in line?
• Why spend an extra two hours in a layover when a direct flight is only $100 more?
• Why drive down to the grocery store when you can pay a service to deliver it to you?
• Why drive across town for the cheaper gym when you can pay more for the one near your home?
• Why mow your own yard for half an hour when you can pay somebody $20 to do it? Your time is worth $60/hr, remember? And since you more work than you want to, you are actually willing to pay $75/hr to recoup precious extra minutes every night.

The above examples seem mundane, but here are some others you may not have considered:

• People will spend an extra $1000/month on rent or mortgage in order to be 30 minutes closer to work. That saves an hour a day, and given 22 business days a month, people will gladly trade $45 for an extra hour with their family every night.
• When people have their own families, they will spend many thousands of dollars on fancy vacations with their families... whereas when they were younger they would probably just go hang out together. Why? Because in reality the main value in an expensive and secluded vacation is the isolation from work and the ability to focus those hours on your family. $7,000 for a 5 day trip for your family? That's a steal when you're making $100/hour and only see your family for 20 hours a week (including weekends).

We all know the cliche that money doesn't buy happiness, and this article is not about whether that is true or not, but money does buy time for people, and when quality time is in more demand than money is in supply, life looks very different.

Rarely is there somebody in high school, college, or early in their military career when they wish they could "buy more time." Rather, they would trade time for money by working after school or during their summer, etc. That's why I was happy mowing lawns for $5/hour when I was 15 years old, but would later pay somebody else $40/hour to do it instead. It's not because I am lazy or don't enjoy being outdoors - it's because I can generate more value to society by doing what I do best - and that is not mowing lawns. Furthermore, I would rather spend that precious time with my family.

As professionals get older their "value to society" increases assuming they are increasing their expertise and have a successful business career. Also increasing is their desire for quality free time when their lives are locked in long work hours and they begin to see their family grow without them. Early in life, the society-to-personal free time gap leads to time being on your side, and I would argue most people are happier in their college days and early adulthood because of it. In college I used to walk an extra 10 minutes with my friends just to buy a cheaper slice of pizza, and I couldn't be happier. Most MBAs I know would blow a fuse if they had to waste that kind of time today.

When the time/money gap is on your side, life is relatively carefree... you don't make much money, if any at all, but those are some of the best times of one's life. Later we make a lot more money, but the imbalance is the other way around. We pay to recoup time... and we do so by living closer to work, taking expensive vacations, and spending money on things that buy us time that we would never had done before. This imbalance would not sustain itself, if it were not for the intangible forces working to maintain it; the sense of growing influence and importance in the world, and the legacy one is building over his life. Those feelings of accomplishment, whether warranted or not, counteract a state that would otherwise self-correct.

Takeaways

While my analysis here may be more methodical than necessary, I hope it helps convey the point. Business school does more than just change your occupation, it changes your lifestyle, because it fundamentally changes your interaction with society. It doesn't make you any better or worse in and by itself, but its consequences reach deeply into the most mundane of decisions, the sum of which significantly changes your overall behavior and lifestyle.

I make no judgment whether this is good, bad, or indifferent. It is but a mere observation. Being self-aware of this change allows everyone to better understand their actions and themselves, and hopefully to lead a life of appropriate balance - whatever that means to you.

Pre-MBA Boot Camp

If you have been accepted to an MBA program starting this fall, you should seriously consider Fidelis Education's Pre-MBA Boot Camp. Fidelis Education is run by an HBS alum and former Marine Corps officer, and it's doing great things to help transitioning military personnel find success after their military service.

The course is launching this May, so you have to act fast. For more information, visit the Fedelis Education Pre-MBA Boot Camp page.

Hello World

Hello World

The Business May 2nd 2012, "Seregina & Dhar" Edition

This week the Business loses Chris and Chris, but welcomes back two local faves Anna Seregina and Rajeev Dhar to make up for our Chris-less-ness.

Anna Seregina is a San Francisco-based stand-up comic and performer. She was born in Moscow, Russia, which could explain her deep-rooted cynicism. It could also explain nothing. After being involved in theater and improv for nearly a decade and being funny for nearly a lifetime, she decided to take the plunge into stand-up comedy. Her style can nearly be defined as vocal and un-lady-like, drawing heavily on what little life experience she has. She has been described as having the “worst aura.” Most facts about her are true. Most truths about her are facts.

Rajeev Dhar (Phd) has a Tumblr page, but it's password protected, so I couldn't lift his bio from it word-for-word like I did Anna's. Regardless, he is very funny and runs the Tuesday night comedy show called The Break Room at Amnesia in the Mission, not far from yours truly. I've only caught him looking in the mirror at himself once, but I don't blame him.

Bucky returns to us this week from Portland, and Alex, Caitlin and Sean will also be on hand. Will Hologram Bucky confront his flesh-and-blood counterpart? Come down and see.

As always show is at 8pm, only $5 and all burritos welcome.

The Business April 25th 2012, "THREE YEAR BIRTHDAY!" Edition

GO BUSINESS!  IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY!  WE’RE GONNA PARTY!  LIKE IT’S THE BUSINESS’ BIRTHDAY!

Hey Party People: While you were all busy filing your taxes at the last possible second, The Business, San Francisco’s longest running alternative comedy show and foam party, turned a distinguished THREE YEARS OLD on April 15th.  We’ve survived our terrible two’s (which were not terrible at all).  We’ve made it past the Sophomore Slump (which wasn’t very slumpy at all).  And as you know, three is a very lucky number that is very important to comedy.  So far this year has been the most fun and full collection of shows we’ve ever put on.  THE MAGIC IS WORKING ALREADY!  Please come out this Wednesday night and help celebrate with us and our party pals:

Nato Green will be on hand and ready to party like it’s 2012.  Known as “The Fifth Businessman” (even though we now are six members strong, so technically he’d be “The Seventh Businessman”) Nato is back at The Biz to help prep for his upcoming FULL LENGTH COMEDY ALBUM RECORDING!  Nato speaks truth to power through the international language of love: stand-up comedy.  When not prepping for CD recordings, Nato has also been working on a documentary with and about his fellow pinko commies Laughter Against The Machine. This party just became a political party yall!

Party Dog Mike Drucker visits The Biz again to do a keg stand off our pony keg...of laughs!  A recent transplant from the Northwest, Mike has already made his nerd dominance felt throughout the Bay.  A writer for Late Night With Jimmy Fallon, McSweeny’s and Nintendo (that’s right, dorks)  Drucker also recently went head-to-head with Businessman Alex Koll during a Competitive Erotic Fan Fiction battle royale at Portland’s The Bridgetown Comedy Festival. How erotic will things get this Wednesday?  Probably not much at all!

To add to the party vibe, we will also have The DJ Real Vs. Joe Tobin Experience on-stage as our house band, some party snacks and many more surprises!

All of the regular Businessmen will be in the mix, except for Bucky, who is off pushing his poetry in Portland.  But not to worry, we’ve enlisted several holograms to take his place!  Come for the comedy, stay for the future technology!

As always, the party starts at 8pm, the party price is just $5 and party supplies are nearby at Taqueria Cancun and other hot party spots in the ‘hood.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EVERYONE!

The Business April 18th 2012, "The Maximilian Affair" Edition

This week, The Business regulars are stuffing your enchiladas with baguettes as we welcome a bill of guests that would have Napoleon III plieing in his grave hard enough to knock off the sugar skulls.

Clara Bijl is visiting us from The City of Angels, but was born in The City of Light. PARIS, FRANCE. She was raised in the Alps, attended schools in Germany, Switzerland, and South Carolina; then one day, she moved to The City that Never Sleeps to begin a career in stand-up comedy. Performing all around the Big Apple and the rest of the country, she became a prolific writer of cutting, witty, internationally flavored comedy.

She will truffle your butter.

Frankie Quinones is a rising star to search for and catch. He is a founding member of For The People Comedy, is a collective of artists who share a common goal of producing colorful events fueled by positivity and laughter. Always maintaining a diverse lineup to represent San Francisco culture through high energy shows filled with humor and music. Frankie has also toured with some of the industry’s top headliners including the legendary Paul Rodriguez, and has performed for our troops overseas in Japan, Europe, and the Middle East.

He is also quite dapper. Muy rico suave.

This show is gonna feel like French kissing a churro. It’s gonna be like peeping on the Dos Equis guy with a French maid. It’s gonna make you wanna escarGO(silentT) see more live comedy!!! EIYIYI!!!! (I’m sorry)

Grab $5, your burrito and your beret and come join our fantastic guests and all the regulars! (except Alex, who we wish well in the wilds of the Northwest. If you are reading this in Tacoma, Washington- go see his shows this weekend at the Comedy Underground!)

The Business April 4th 2012, "Where Eagles Dare to Fly through the American Dream" Edition

This week our guests help us soar like we’ve never soared before. Business regulars Sean Kean, Alex Koll, Chris Garcia, Caitlin Gill and Chris Thayer (Bucky Sinister can’t be with us, though he’s still a proud eagle dreamer) welcome two of the finest comedians to come out of America since the birth of our Nation (by caesarean).

Matt Leib’s parents named him after the famous beef of Mattlieb, Japan, which they saw on a restaurant menu. He and former-teammate Shaquille O'Neal (actually, just him) led the Lakers to three consecutive NBA championships from 2000 to 2002. In 2003, he made headlines when he was accused of sexual assault at a ski resort in Eagle, Colorado by hotel employee Katelyn Faber. He admitted an adulterous sexual encounter with the accuser, but denies the sexual assault allegation. In September 2004, prosecutors dropped the case after Faber informed them that she was unwilling to testify.

(I asked Matt if Shaq is as friendly in real life as he seems in the movies. He just dunked on me, so I’m still not sure.)

You can also catch his weekly show on FCCFree Radio, Where Eagles Dare.

Kurt Weitzmann began performing stand up in 1987 at the infamous Holy City Zoo in San Francisco, a dark and wondrous place. His act has been seen on Comedy central and (ashamedly) MTV but more recently at The Vancouver Comedy Festival and at San Francisco Sketchfest. In between Stand Up performances Kurt founded numerous Bay Area sketch groups, including Nervous laughter, Comedy Noir and The Twist Off Cabaret. Kurt was honored as a semifinalist in the Reverie Next Generation Playwrights Competition last year for his dramatic feature length play, The Abnormal Psychology of God.

(He has also been honored with the award for Best Sushi Rolled by a German.)

His highly acclaimed comedy sketch album Talented is now available on American Dream Records.

THIS SHOW COSTS ONLY $5 AMERICAN. Bring your dead presidents and a burrito to The Dark Room, patriots!

The Business March 28th 2012, "Exceeded Bandwidth" Edition

The Business is downloading some serious funny this week as we stuff our network with more special guests than you can shake a router at. Don't worry, we've got major capacity so things won't slow down or freeze. We'll be delivering rich live content at speeds that would melt your cable or DSL connection. Linking-up with us this week are:

Karl Hess: Curly headed taco truck enthusiast from Los Angeles; knows how to wear a sweater; makes hilarious jokes - http://karlhesscomedy.com/

Josh Androsky: One of the clowns behind Hamclown: Los Angeles comedy hotspot; Occupies Wall Street; makes hilarious jokes. - http://joshandrosky.tumblr.com/

Dan Crane: Known to the planet as Björn Türqoue, air guitar second-place legend and master of world ceremonies; Knows some dudes at Wheat Thins; makes hilarious jokes. - http://www.dancrane.com/Site/Home.html

Stephanie Tolev: Toronto's own; in a sketch group called Ladystache and also attempting to grow one as well; makes hilarious jokes. - http://www.ladystache.com/site/about

Sean Keane has dropped off the grid, but we have Bucky, Chris G., Caitlin, Alex and Chris T. on hand to move data into your ports.

As always our show is a standard flat rate of $5.  Shows at eight, bring a burrito and a date.

The Business March 21st 2012, "Fried Green Medinas" Edition

The secret’s in the sauce this week, as all the regulars are back in town and ready to go TOWANDA on this show!!! We are also fully prepared to BBQ a wife batterer (SPOILER ALERT). Luckily the guests we have this week are the best kind of gentlemen, and the only thing getting killed will be YOU, the audience.

The Business is always open for Nato Green. This most beloved guest can be seen in SuperPAC, a run of shows at the Hemlock Tavern every Monday night through May 7th, before his live CD recording May 8th at the New Parish in Oakland. The East Bay Express has called him “erudite and acerbic”. He’s like a prawn wrapped in bacon FOR YOUR MIND. (Of course that’s a fresh, wild prawn and home cured bacon)

We also welcome hard workin comic Juan Medina, who grinds like he’s at a middle school dance. You can catch him Live at Deluxe, at the SF Comedy Cellar and on-air with Mutiny Radio. He also put his arm around John Waters once and has a picture to prove it.

You got a burrito? Bring it. This whole incredible show is just $5. So join us. Maybe you’ll find the Jessica Tandy to your Kathy Bates.

The Business March 14th 2012, "Gondelmania" Edition

The Business is happy to welcome the hilarious Josh Gondelman to the show this week. Josh hails from Boston, but currently lives in New York City. For such a sweet and lovable former preschool teacher, he knows a surprising amount about gangsta rap. He won first prize in the initial Laughing Skull Comedy Festival in Atlanta, and has performed at festivals such as SF Sketchfest, Laugh Your Asheville Off, and the Eugene Mirman Comedy Festival. His debut CD is called "Everything's The Best," and was produced by Rooftop Comedy. You can follow his consistently stellar Twitter work at twitter.com/joshgondelman.

As if that weren't enough East Coast flavor, we've also got comedian Emily Fleming visiting from New York. And we're also happy to welcome back Kaseem Bentley, local favorite and insult comic extraordinaire. The San Jose Mercury News called him a "comic to watch," and Chris Garcia once called him "the last King of Scotland." You'll call him "hella funny" or possibly "Rick Ross's half-brother."


We've also got a full cast of regular Businesspeople: Chris Garcia, Caitlin Gill, Sean Keane, Alex Koll, Bucky Sinister & Chris Thayer. As always, admission is just five dollars, because we're the best bargain in town.

The Business March 7th 2012, "Two Silent G's & A Bishop" Edition

Reunited and it feels so good! Since all The Business regulars are gonna be back at the mic this week, we called in some of our favorites and are planning to laugh through mouthfuls of burrito right along with you.

David Gborie (@thegissilent) is a member of Sylvan Productions, a team of comedians pulling themselves up by their bootstraps...ALL THE WAY TO THE STARS! His hustle and grind take him all over the Bay and beyond. We know he’s gonna be the talk of the town at the upcoming Bridgetown Comedy Festival in Portland, OR. We’re happy to have him here, as it’s hard to tear him away from one of the 4,329,438 shows that Sylvan is currently producing.

Joe Nguyen is just your everyday Vietnamese Jew raised in Georgia. His jokes are well crafted and clever, his delivery is inviting and affable--so much so that he won the 2009 Russian River Comedy Competition. We are happy he had time to stop by, as he’s just here for a visit. This former local has relocated to the glittering promise land of Los Angeles, so catch him at The Biz while he’s back! And remember: you can always find him on Twitter at @vietjew.

Lauren Ashley Bishop baits a hook with irresistible beauty then BOOM--its sharp wit right to your face! She’s an LA girl by way of Arkansas, and has played the finest clubs in between. If you ever found yourself wanting to eat at Arby’s its probably because you saw her in their commercial; yes, she’s that good! (If you’ve wanted to eat Arby’s for any other reason, please consult a physician.) Additionally, the Huffington Post named her one of the 18 funniest women on twitter. Follow your heart to her feed @sbellelauren.

ALL THIS FUNNY PLUS THE REGULARS (Sean Keane, Chis Garcia, Bucky Sinister, Alex Koll, Chris Thayer and Caitlin Gill) FOR JUST $5!! No joke!!

HBS Military Prospective Students' Day

Just a heads up that HBS is holding its second annual (not actually sure if it's going to be annual, but it's a good bet it will be) Military Prospective Students Day on March 5th, on the HBS campus. This event is meant to introduce future applicants to HBS and to the benefits of an MBA.

I highly recommend that prospective military applicants attend this event if they can make it. The school really goes out of its way to introduce prospective students to the program and answer common questions such as life on campus, career opportunities post-MBA, and financing your education. This is also a good opportunity to meet some current former military students who can help answer and maybe even guide some of your application in the future. HBS military members are extremely helpful - just like most HBS students - and you should definitely introduce yourself and make some connections.

Time to sign up may be running short. Go here: http://www.hbs.edu/mba/admissions/events.html and click on "On campus" at the bottom of the screen to open a list of events. You can register by selecting "Military Prospective Students Day." If for some reason you are not able to register in time, contact the AFAA (Armed Forces Alumni Association) on campus, or the school directly to see if they can still squeeze you in.

I was honored to help lead the inaugural Military Prospective Students Day last year, and am very glad to see the tradition continue. I also noticed that Wharton started doing the same thing this year as well. Good talent is always in demand!

As a side note, I would also recommend reading this interview with Dee Leopold. It's not a new article, but it does help provide more transparency and insight into the application process. If there's one takeaway I would take from the interview, is that admissions is highly driven by applicant profile - and less by what some applicants may feel is their individual achievements. One's upbringing, demographic background, undergraduate school, and place and type of employment, and to a much more subjective level - temperament - tend to dominate the selection process.

The Business February 8th 2012, "Andy Haynes & Katie Compa" Edition

The Business has no Alex Koll this week, but we've made up for it with two very special guests: Andy Haynes and Katie Compa!

Andy Haynes was raised in the shadow of Mt. Rainier on a diet of fresh salmon, wild berries, and lots of coffee. Now based in Los Angeles, Andy's diet mostly consists of stacks of money - because he's a wildly successful stand up comedian that makes so much money he doesn't know what to do with it! You may recognize Andy from his stellar stand up performances on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, the prestigious Montreal Just for Laughs Comedy Festival, and from walking around Hollywood Blvd with dollar bills coming out of his mouth.

Katie Compa was raised in DC, started comedy in SF, and now lives in NYC. That's a lot of places and a lot of initials! Katie was a finalist in the 2007 Battle of the Bay Comedy Competition and a semifinalist in the 2009 California's Funniest Female Competition. We're happy to have her back in town.

We also have Business regulars Bucky Sinister, Caitlin Gill, Chris Garcia, Chris Thayer, and Sean Keane rounding out the line up. That's 7 comics for just $5. What a deal!

The Business LA Friday Feb 10th 2012: Kinane & Katz!

Sup LA? How you been, girl? See you missed us real bad. Well, dry those eyes Shygirl because The Business LA is back Friday February 10th at 8pm! We're starting this year off right: a month and ten days after it started! Helping us usher in this year of Dragons and Mezo-Apocalyptic Mysteries is none other than Kyle Kinane and Louis Katz!

Tickets are $10 at the door BUT...
They are only $8 online with NO SERVICE FEE!

GET TICKETS HERE:
http://nerdmeltla.com/tickets/index.php?event_id=151

The show is at 8pm at Meldown Comic's Nerdist Theater in Hollywood.

As you may remember, we had a rendezvous with Kyle Kinane way back in of 2011, but he caught the Demon Flu and disappeared into a fever dream of Dorrito farts. But we're cashing in our rain-check (Kinane-check, if you will) and using hand sanitizer to ensure he'll come give you the laughfluenza (ok, I'll stop). You should know take the time to know Kinnae if you don't but here is a starting point: Last year he was named one of Paste Magazine’s 10 Best Comedians of 2011 & he took a limo full of Coors Light to a Bob Seger show. Now go Google the rest.

Louis Katz joins us from New York to talk dirty flavor in your ear. Louis triumphantly returns to SoCal, the place of his dirty birth, to make everyone laugh at animal farts and show off his pointy shoes. He has a new album out on Comedy Central records and can't be stopped. He is also a cast member of the web series Elevator To: Space, and his evening will mark his reunion with other cast members Alex, Chris and Sean. One small step backwards for mankind.

What are you waiting for? GET IT GIRL!

The Business February 1st 2012, "Sheng Wang Time!" Edition

Surprise! Sheng Wang is on The Business this week. Fresh off a weekend of dominant performances at Sketchfest, Sheng Wang returns to The Business this week. You may have seen him at the Punch Line, at Kevin Allison's RISK! storytelling show, or in line at Arinell's Pizza. Mr. Wang is a native of Houston, Texas, but came of comedy age in the Bay. His Comedy Central half-hour special premiered last year, and he's also appeared on Live At Gotham and toured with the Comedians of Comedy. He's a frequent guest to the Business, where he has also exhibited his photography. Is there anything this dude can't do?

We've also got Chris Garcia, Caitlin Gill, Sean Keane, and Bucky Sinister rounding out the lineup. Admission is still five dollars, and you can bring in your own burrito if you like - I'm pretty sure Sheng will be bringing in his.

The Business January 18th 2012, "Attack of the Killer Tobe-Natos!" Edition

I say Tobe-Nato, you say Tobe-Nahto. Well, you're wrong, because it's Nato! As in Nato Green, doing a hot six minutes at The Business this Wednesday, along with Joe "Smokey Joe" Tobin doing an extended feature set. This show was certified 96% fresh on Rotten Tobe-Natos, and the National Weather Service issued a Tobe-Nato warning for most of Northern California! Are we mixing up our puns? Maybe!

Joe Tobin is a writer, comedian, and Flyers enthusiast. He performs at comedy clubs all over the land, and he's received critical acclaim for his work with The Joe Tobin Orchestra. He's never booed Santa Claus at a sporting event, but he would understand if you did.

Nato Green is a co-founder of Laughter Against The Machine, the creator of Iron Comic, and was recently voted San Francisco's Foodiest Dad!

We've also got Chris Thayer, Caitlin Gill, Sean Keane, and fresh off a sold-out tour of Los Angeles, Chris Garcia! As always, admission is just five dollars. Bring your own burrito! Or, if you're Nato, your own home-cured bacon. See you there!

Advance tickets: http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/222361

The Business January 11th 2012, "Featuring Clare O'Kane & George Chen" Edition

The Business welcomes two first-time guests to the show, and welcomes two new Businessmen to our regular lineup. Or should we say - BusinessWOMEN. Well, a Businessman and a Businesswoman - Caitlin Gill and Chris Thayer! And our two guests are Clare O'Kane and George Chen.

Clare O'Kane is a rising comedian and actress making her way on the scene. She often performs with the infamous Sylvan Collective, and has acted at the Edinburgh Festival. She starred in the film "Bloodrape" as "Evelyn," and IMDB credits her as a Researcher for "An Audience With Elton John," a TV special produced when she was eight years old.

George Chen is a Bay Area bred writer and musician. His credits for talking at you include Porchlight Storytelling Series and the Living Room Salon at SF MOMA. He organized a comedy show on a bus and in a comic book store. He's writing this while watching a Species marathon.

Chris and Caitlin have performed on The Business many times in the past, and we're excited to have them on board from now on. Chris has performed at SF Sketchfest and the Bridgetown Comedy Festival, and produced his own show NERVES! Caitlin founded the Ladies Room comedy showcase, remains the longtime dirty haiku champion of Tourette's Without Regrets, and has performed at poetry slams and inside boxing rings.

They've been guests, but come Wednesday, we'll see how they hold up to the pressure of being a regular. Heavy is the hand that holds the microphone, though light is the finger that administers the Facebook invite. And heavy is the tummy that orders the super burrito from Cancun, available just across the street. 8 PM. Five bucks. No Chris and Alex, but we'll have memories that will last a lifetime.

 

The Business January 4th 2012, "Kirshen and The Gill" Edition

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY! As we charge into 2012, great and mighty changes approach from all directions. Come meet them head on with us this Wednesday for the first Business of the new year.

Joining us this week will be visiting comedian Matt Kirshen and Business regular Caitlin Gill!

You may have also seen Matt on Last Comic Standing, The World Stands Up, Ferguson or Fallon. You may have. But have you seen one of his many solo shows at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival? You may have. But have you seen him bring his wit to our stage? No, you have not. Well, here is your chance.

There is good reason Caitlin Gill is a Business favorite, having graced our stage many, many times. She's funny and smart and you love her. We do too. In fact, we're thinking of just absorbing her into the organization outright...

...BTW, this will be the last Business featuring original businessman Alex Koll for quite a while, so get your fill of him at this show. It'll have to last you a bit.

Also on hand will be Sean, Bucky and Chris, of course. Only $5 for all that! And burritos and drinks so close near by! Let's do this 2012!